Home is Where the Heart Is
Q
Dear Adia,
My grandmother is 91 years old and lives alone in her house in Manhattan Beach. Although the house is small in size and manageable, sometimes I worry if I don't make time to stop by 2-3 days a week things may fall apart. Grandma is sharp as a tack and very independent but she just can't do a lot alone anymore. When is the right time to put her in a convalescent home or assisted living facility?
Best regards,
Guilty Granddaughter
A
Dear Guilty Granddaughter,
“Home is Where the Heart is” is something that you say which means your true home is with the person or place you love the most. Before you decide when it’s the right time to move your grandmother into a nursing home or assisted living facility, you should first asses her physical, social and emotional needs. The needs will provide clarity on whether she really needs to move to another location or not. Moving is a big deal for people of all ages, especially older adults. It’s no fun! It’s a big deal because you’re leaving a familiar and comfortable environment to an unfamiliar, unknown new environment despite all the “hotel” perks, it’s still not “home.” That said, consider her own home as the first option before assuming she needs to relocate. Before deciding when is the right time to move her out, answer the following exploratory questions. These questions will help break down the process of determining what is in best interest of your grandmother, now and in the future:
- What are her needs? Create a 3-column list and assess the tasks she can:
- Do Alone
- Do with Assistance
- Needs Full Assistance
- Do the basic survival tasks like eating, bathing, dressing, toileting require stand-by assistance or full assistance?
- How much time is needed to meet the needs? Few hours? Daily? Weekly? How do you help your grandmother during your visits?
- What worries you the most about her needs?
- What does the “Assisted Living Facility/Home” offer that you like?
- Can you offer the exact same services in her own home? Who can provide such services? Part-time or full-time caregiver? Live-In caregiver?
- What are the costs for staying at home versus moving her into an assisted living home? Short-term and Long-Term costs.
- What do you love most about the time you spend with her? What would it take to continue enjoying your time with her at home as a granddaughter, not a caregiver?
Make the best decision based on a wide range of options and factors such as needs, costs, care management, social aspects, home care services, support system, home modification options and family circumstances.
Yours Truly,
Adia LLC
www.adiacares.com