Dear Adia, You're all the Same! Aren't You?

Q

Dear Adia,

I am an OLD-pro when it comes to working with caregivers and services.  My husband Joe and I moved to Hermosa Beach after the war and raised our 3 children.  Once the kids grew-up and moved on, we migrated to a smaller condo in Manhattan Beach (it was supposed to simplify our lives).  Unfortunately, around the same time, Joe suffered a stroke.  I cared for him for almost nine years until his death in 2001.  During this time, I had my fair share of help from a variety of people such as housekeepers, local members of the church, and several different caregiver services.  Overall, I was not impressed!  I am now looking into care for my own needs and I’m reminded of the disturbing problems with the services I used for my husband.  Recently, I have seen different “lists” published by the hospitals, senior clubs, and church bulletins but I must admit I think all caregiver agencies are the same.  What makes you different?  “You use one agency, you’ve used them all!”.  Aren’t they just rotating the same people anyway?  What makes Adia so different, really?

Best regards,
Mrs. Skeptical

A

Dear Mrs. Skeptical

Thoroughly investigate, investigate and investigate if you are concerned about a company’s legitimacy or are seeking to learn why and how the caregiver companies are different, don’t be afraid to ask tough questions.  The “list’s” are just that!  An alpha list of names and numbers, NO assurances of quality service, safety, or legitimacy.  For this reason, put yourself in the driver seat of the investigation.  The real differences will be revealed about the owners, the level of community involvement and outreach, operating management standards and procedures, and ultimately, the values and principles in which the company operates.  States your investigation with…

1. Who are the owners and managers?  If there has been poor management in the past, it will be indicated in the company’s track record.  However, if the company is managed well, the good results are repeated.  If there is a change in management, you may wish to look into the background of the new managers, experience, values, training and development as well as management systems put into place to ensure safety and quality service.  Quality service doesn’t just fall from the sky!  It’s deliberately created.
2. Who are the employees?  Ask about the employee turnover rate?  Ask how the company “serves” the employee?  Are there development and promotional opportunities for employees?  These questions will shed some light on the level of commitment and value of the employees.  In business, companies doe what ever it takes to keep “good employees.”  Ask about the employee(s) that have been with the company for the longest time.  How does the company know they (good employees) are happy?  Request a “meet & greet) free of charge?
3. What about Better Business Bureau (BBB)?  Ask if the company is a “member” versus “accredited.” Ask for a reliability report filed on the company.  Call the chamber of commerce.  Just because the company is not a member, doesn’t mean that they are not reputable.
4. Just good references?  Ask for More – Ask for references and call immediately.  Also ask for references whereby there was a “problem” or a “challenging” situation but the company found a resolution.
5. As the saying goes, “you get what you pay for…” This is true in the caregiving world.  Ask companies why their price points are very high or very low?  Insist on receiving specific answers.  Operating above board?  Or cutting corners?

Once you have collected information from a wide range of sources, the differences should be obvious.  Additionally, realize that your research will be an ongoing process.  Learning about a company, its employees and competitors is just the first part. 

Yours Truly,
Adia

Dear Adia, Where Should Grandma Go?

Home Is Where the Heart Is

Q

Dear Adia,

My grandmother is 91 years old and lives alone in her house in Hawthorne.  Although the house is small in size and manageable, sometimes I worry if I don’t make time to stop by 2-3 days a week things may fall apart.  Grandma is sharp as a tack and very independent but she just can’t do a lot alone anymore.  When is the right time to put her in a convalescent home or assisted living facility?

Best Regards,

Guilty Granddaughter

A

Dear Guilty Granddaughter,

“Home is Where the Heart is” is something that you say which means your true home is with the person or place you love the most.  Before you decide when it’s the right time to move your grandmother into a nursing home or assisted living facility, you should first asses her physical, social and emotional needs.  The needs will provide clarity on whether she really needs to move to another location or not.  Moving is a big deal for people of all ages, especially older adults, it’s no fun!  It’s a big deal because you’re leaving a familiar and comfortable environment to an unfamiliar, unknown new environment despite all the “hotel” perks; it’s still not “home.”  That said consider her own home as the first option before assuming she needs to relocate.  Before deciding when the right time to move her out is, answer the following exploratory questions.  These questions will help break down the process of determining what is in the best interest of your grandmother, now and in the future:

1. What are her needs?  Create a 3-column list and assess the tasks she can:

a. Do Alone

b. Do with Assistance

c. Needs Full Assistance

2. Do the basic survival tasks like eating, bathing, dressing, toileting require stand-by assistance or full assistance?

3. How much time is needed to meet the needs?  A few hours?  Daily?  Weekly?  How do you help your grandmother during your visits?

4.  What worries you the most about her needs?

5. What does the “Assisted Living Facility/Home” offer that you like?

6. Can you offer the exact same services in her own home?  Who can provide such services?  Part-time or full-time caregiver?  Live-In caregiver?

7. What are the costs for staying at home versus moving her into an assisted living home?  Short-term and Long-term costs.

8. What do you love most about the time you spend with her?  What would it take to continue enjoying your time with her at home as a granddaughter, not a caregiver

Make the best decision based on a wide range of options and factors such as needs, costs, care management, social aspects, home care services, support system, home modification options and family circumstances.

Yours Truly,

Adia

Dear Adia, Staying at Home for People with Alzheimer's

Q.

Dear Adia,

My mother was recently diagnosed with Alzheimer's. She is 81 years old and lives alone in Palos Verdes Estates. When I learned of the diagnosis, I immediately went into "research mode." I found a great book entitled The 36-Hour Day and watched a few highly recommended films: Savages and Away From Her. Both films were a huge eye-opener into the reality of living at an Alzheimer's facility - quite troubling to watch. In the end, the films convinced me to do everything in my power to keep my mom at home. The thought of her living like a "room mate" with strangers and ultimately, being moved to the "progressive unit" for those with advanced Alzheimer's is more worrisome to me. It's like you're on another planet! I hugely respect all the good efforts to make the person feel comfortable and safe at Alzheimer facilities, but home is always the best place. After watching these movies, I feel "no one" or "no place" can carbon copy the home environment in which my mom cooked, laughed, decorated and raised her kids. Home is home. For this reason, I am determined to modify my mom's home to be "Alzheimer's friendly." I need help to understand how to modify her home ensuring she is safe, comfortable and.happy as best as possible.

Thanks,
Mr. Extreme MakeOver Home Edition

 

A.

Dear Mr. Extreme MakeOver Home Edition,

There are stages of changing or adjusting the home environment of a person with Alzheimer's. Factors in the physical environment, such as lighting, color or noise, can significantly impact the behavior of a person with Alzheimer's. Making changes and adjustments to the home environment can help make activities of daily living easier, more enjoyable and safer for the person with Alzheimer's. Equally important, changes to the home environment can reduce specific high-risk symptoms, such as wandering and getting lost. Research demonstrates that when the physical environment of people with Alzheimer's are specially designed to support their abilities, they are able to remain more independently and socially engaged, have fewer delusions, combative outbreaks as well as experience less anxiety. 

There are many home modifications which have shown to be beneficial in reducing certain problematic behaviors in people with Alzheimer's:

• Buy a phone with large numbers and speed-dial with pictures of family / friends
• Adjust the lights to have low levels of light during meals
• Minimize clutter throughout the home
• Use sturdy furniture that does not tip and remove furniture with corners
• Remove fake fruit and other "look-a-like" decorations like magnets
• Play consistent background noise like the person's favorite music or sounds
• Place objects such as photographs, mementoes and familiar furniture in clear view
• Use appliances that shut off automatically, setting timers or alarms to remind one that something is cooking or that it's time to take medicine
• Post notes and lists to organize activities every day of the week
• Post emergency phone numbers next to the phone
• Hide extra set of car keys
• Place decals on glass from preventing the person from walking into the glass
• Check gas appliances ensuring the pilot lights are working properly
• Mark smoke detectors and fire extinguishers with clear instructions
• Remove toxic or poisonous items, such as cleaning solutions, bleach, drain opener and prescription medicines, should be kept in a safe place to prevent accidental ingestion.
• Install handrails throughout the home, grab bars, non-skid mats and shower chair in the shower in the bathroom
• If wandering is a problem, install alarms or locks on doors. There are various programs available that provide identity bracelets for people with Alzheimer's, so that if they do wander from home or work, they may be returned safely.
• Hire a professional caregiver to stay with the person 24 hours a day to prevent wandering and becoming endangered. Additionally, the professional caregiver can facilitate consistent plans and schedules for exercise and social activities, both of which are key in still sustaining a safe and comfortable life at .home.

Each person with Alzheimer's is different. Researching ALL housing options is important, including the option of staying at home. Make the best decision based on a wide range of options and factors such as costs, stage of the disease, management, home care services, support system, home modification options and family circumstances.

Yours Truly,
Adia

Dear Adia, Sleepless in Seattle (& Manhattan Beach)

Q

Dear Adia,

I grew up in Manhattan Beach most of my life and after college, I moved with my husband and now 3 kids to Seattle. Although I miss the sunny days and beach life my home is in the Pacific Northwest. My father died 3 years ago and my siblings and I vowed to make sure we stayed close to mom and help support her quality of life.  I continue to make the pilgrimage to my childhood home every 3 months to spend time with mom and help my siblings manage her estate.  Recently, after my last visit, I was shocked to see that the level and condition of her care had dropped considerably.  One thing that I forgot to mention is that my older sister lives and works near mother and has been handling her day to day needs.  My brother and I although still involved, have left her to manage things daily because of her willingness and close proximity.  Often times my sister complains of lack of free time and sounds more and more stressed out.  We feel guilty that she has inherited a brunt of “caregiving” needed to keep mom living at home comfortably.  We have offered to work together as a team to create a solution but so far it feels we are on opposite sides of what is best for mom.  One thing for sure Mom wants to stay home, and I feel she needs more care than my sister can provide.  What can we do?

Sleepless in Seattle

A

Dear Sleepless in Seattle,

Caregiving is not easy for anyone, not for the caregiver and not for the care recipient.  Additionally, caregiving is not everyone. Just because a person is a spouse or a son/daughter who lives close by doesn’t mean the person is the “best fit” for the job – caring for a parent. From a distance, it may be especially harder to feel that what you are doing is enough, or that what you are doing is important.

The first step to finding a solution to your caregiving dilemma is to collect facts about the current needs of your mom and the tasks required to meet each need. Write all the needs and tasks (“action items”) in 2 columns side by side on a yellow notepad. After talking with your siblings, decide who will be responsible for which tasks and include non-family members (i.e. hiring a professional caregiver) to leverage the tasks. Remember to ask yourself, “What is it going to take to get the job done!? Who is the best person for the task?” Think about your schedules and how to adapt the schedules to give respite to the primary caregiver, your sister. You may also consider, as long distance siblings, coming to town while your sister take a vacation.

Working as a “family team” requires that each member agree in advance how their strengths and skills can complement one another. Ideally, each of you will be able to take on tasks best suited to each person’s skills or interests. For example, who is available to help Mom go to the grocery store each week? Or perhaps, who can order the food online and have food delivered to the home, eliminating the task and time of driving to the grocery store? Be realistic about how much each person can do alone or share tasks on alternating weeks.

When thinking about your strengths, consider what you are particularly good at and how that skill might help in the current situation:

• Are you best on the phone, finding information, keeping people up-to-date?
• Are you good at supervising and leading others? Are you comfortable speaking with medical staff and interpreting what they say to others?
• Is your strongest suit paying bills, keeping track of bank statements, and reviewing insurance policies and reimbursement reports?

When thinking about your limits, consider:

• How often, both mentally and financially, can you afford to travel? What’s your budget?
• Are you emotionally prepared to take on what may feel like a reversal of roles?
• Can you be both calm and assertive when communicating from a distance?
• How will your decision to take on care responsibilities affect the rest of your family and your work?

Yours Truly,
Adia 

Dear Adia, My Mom Wants to Stay at Home

My Mom Wants to Stay Home!  Long Distance Caregiving

Q

Dear Adia,

I was a long time resident of the South Bay until 2006 when I moved my family from Manhattan Beach to Bend, Oregon for an amazing job opportunity.  My only regret was leaving my 91 year old mother who lives alone in Torrance at the home my parents bought when i was a young boy.  “This is my home…it’s the only place I know” says my mom every time I call and visit.  I feel there was nothing I could do to convince her to move north.  Over the past few years, I try to visit often.  My daughter lives in Redondo Beach and checks-in on her at least once a week.  In addition to the changes in my mom’s body due to advanced age, her muscular dystrophy (MS) has not completely confined her to a motorized wheelchair.  I am concerned about the revolving door of independent caregivers and their random schedule.  I discovered in my last visit that often times they leave my mom home alone for several hours.  The most recent incident was learning that my mom would be home alone on Thanksgiving Day and weekend.  OOhhh NOOOO!!!  I quickly flew back to Los Angeles with little more than a day’s notice.  This was the last straw!  I was livid and very, VERY concerned to face what was going on at my mom’s home.  Our family feels frustrated, worried and vulnerable but need to respect my mom’s desire to stay home.  What reliable and safe options do I have for Mom?

Sleepless in Oregon

 

A

Dear Sleepless in Oregon,

The task of caregiving by long distance can be difficult, stressful, and time consuming.  The natural questions that creep into the mind are, “Can I deal with the problem over the phone or do I need to be there in person?”  Answering these questions without being physically presents are often one of the most difficult aspects of long-distance caregiving.  Emergencies obviously require a trip.  However, other situations can be too difficult to judge over the phone through mom or even, a friend.  Being miles away from your mom also means being miles away from local phone books, hospitals and caregiving companies whose purpose is to help older adults.  There is no magic formula, but there are a number of steps you can take to make the task more manageable.

1. Understand Geriatric Managed Care: Geriatric Managed Care involves a manager, whose primary job is to prepare, plan, coordinate, manage, report and oversee all aspects of care for an older adult, including schedule and back-up management, employee management as well as care plan management.  When screening prospective caregivers or caregiver companies, ask about their systems, structures, protocol and procedure of managing care and employees.  This is important because it will affect the quality, continuity and reliability or care which is most valuable for sons and daughters trying to care by long distance.  A “revolving door” of unmanaged, unsupervised caregivers is dangerous and puts the health and safety of older adults at tremendous risk.

2. Know the Caregiving Vocabulary: Live-In or Live-Out are widely used terms in caregiving.  “Live-In Care” is provided by a caregiver who lives at home of the care recipient and earns a wage for the “day.”  Typically, the live-in caregiver provides assistance with the activities of daily living (ADL) and/or instrumental activities of daily living (IACL) during the day and sleeps at night.  The ideal situation for a live-in caregiver is when the older adult sleeps through the night without the need for assistance.  “Live-Out Care” also includes ADL’s and/or IADL’s but it’s broken down by hours and shifts.  A team of caregivers work 1 – 12 hours per day.  When older adults require 24 hour care, the shifts are split (day shift & night shift) into three-8 hour shifts or two – 12 hour shifts.  Often times, the two terms are mistakenly used interchangeably; however, ensure you understand the difference.  If mom is incontinent and needs assistance to the bathroom many times during the night, the caregiver should be awake, alert, able and willing to assist mom when she needs it, not expect mom to wait until the caregiver wakes up in the morning to help her.  You need a caregiver prepared to work through the night to prevent the risk of falls by the older adult.  Know the needs and behavior in the night hours before making a decision between “live-in” versus “live-out” care.

The adult children of aging parents may feel they’ve entered into the Atlantic Ocean on a small raft when caregiving by long distance!  Make the best decision by working with a team of professionals focused on geriatric care management and wellness services.  You will experience peace of mind and the assurance that mom can stay at home! ….safe and comfortable.

 

Yours Truly,
Adia

Dear Adia, I'm a Mama's Boy...

Oh Momma Mia, Oh Momma Mia!

Q

Dear Adia,

I am a 46 year old self described “momma’s boy” living in Manhattan Beach.  I have a wife and three beautiful daughters ages 7, 9, and 14.  Life is good and a bit crazy!  Recently the pressure has multiplied with the failing health of my mother Margie who lives alone in my boyhood home located in Rancho Palos Verdes.  She used to be independent, active, and even helped us with the kids weekly.  Recently we have seen a change in her moods and energy.  My dad died 4 years ago and my mom broke her hip last year (falling in home), and as a result, she no longer wants to drive.  We try to visit frequently but my wife and I know it’s not enough.  I love my mom but I feel helpless.  What can we do to reverse this downward spiral?

Warmest Regards,

Momma’s Boy

A

Dear Momma’s Boy,

Aging is inevitable, but getting older doesn’t mean getting sick.  The body naturally declines with the lack of physical activity, increased refinement of processed foods and as a result, worsening of our diet.  Just because an older adult has retired at the age of 65 doesn’t mean they “retired from living.”  Aging simply means that they have to work harder at maintaining an optimal level of functioning – a “new” level than when he or she was 20, 30, 40 or 50 years of age.  That said, there is a lot you can do to ensure the aging process of your mother goes as smoothly as possible and help identify her “new” optimal level of functioning.  By doing so, you can reduce the risk of injury, neglect, accidents and equally important, give you a peace-of-mind knowing mom is safe and not home alone.

1. Know as much as possible about the things she can do alone versus the things she needs assistance or can no longer do alone.  Start with a list of her daily chores (AKA “activities of daily living”) such as meal preparation, medication reminder, housekeeping, bathing / incontinence, dressing and transportation.  From this list, determine the degree of assistance she needs to do each task.  If she needs help for more than two lifeline tasks, you must strongly consider hiring a caregiver or care companion.  If not, you run the risk of her leaving the burner on if she tries to cook for herself, forgetting to take her life-sustaining medication, or falling while bathing.  Who will help her in these situations?

2. Where there is smoke, there’s fire means that if something looks or sounds bad, something is wrong – don’t ignore it and pretend it will go away.  Accepting the fact that mom needs support to keep her safe is the first step towards ensuring she lives an easier and more enjoyable life at home.  The second step is to find the right caregiver or care companion for her.

3. Hire a professional caregiver – Don’t impose on your friends, neighbors or spouse to care for your mom, the best and most reliable solution is to hire professional caregiver(s) whose job duty is to make your mom’s life easier.  A professional caregiver will drive your mom to appointments, prepare her meals, clean her house, remind her to take her medications, assist her with a sponge bath or full bath and/or dressing, run errands, as well as ensure her daily experience at home is safe, happy and comfortable.  Consider whether mom needs a live-in caregiver or a live-out caregiver.

Don’t make this decision in the midst of a crisis – it’s hard to think straight while seeing red!  Prepare now by creating a short term and long term care-plan of action.  Empower your mom by including her in the decision making process of accepting help (when, where, how and why).  It will make a significant difference!

Yours Truly,

Adia

Dear Adia, How Will I Get Where I Need to Go?

Q

Dear Adia,

My husband and I have lived in Redondo Beach for over 50 years in the original house we purchased when my husband started working at Northrop Grumman.  We have enjoyed an active and fun lifestyle living in the beach cities. We often brag to our friends about the success our two children have had since moving out of state.  Recently, we had a major setback that has changed our lives drastically; we lost our privilege to drive.  Due to the inefficient transportation system in the Beach Cities as well as not having family in town, we have been less and less active. It’s beginning to feel like our world is closing-in on us! Even the most basic joys of my week like getting my hair and nails done have been a struggle in trying to keep appointments. The last straw came a week ago when my husband missed an important appointment with his cardiologist because my housekeeper quit - unexpectedly. We depended on her for the occasional ride. She promised to be there to help and take my husband to his appointment. Later, we learned that she accepted an offer to work elsewhere for more hours than we needed. Oh boy, were we surprised!!  What options do I have in the South Bay for transportation and occasional help around the house without having to promise full time work and not be left in a lurch? 

Our Best,

Mr. and Mrs. Car-less

A

Dear Mr. and Mrs. Car-Less,

Aging affects the reaction time, sight and hearing. Your reasons for not driving anymore can be due to accidents or near misses, difficultly seeing pedestrians, or adverse reaction to medication preventing you from driving safely. Despite this, your ability to live independently should not be based on whether you can drive or not. Living without a car should not make you homebound - it’s simply a lifestyle change! Today, there are many options enabling older adults to continue their favorite activities and remain mobile.  Below you will find a list of options allowing you to move freely around the community. Keep in mind there are pros and cons for each option:

 

1. Taxi Service
2. Hire a Private Driver
3. Para transit Service
4. Senior Transportation Services / Senior Shuttle
5. Local Senior Car-Pool Program
6. Call a friend, neighbor or volunteer
7. Hire a Caregiver / Home Care Company

Options 1-6 are restricted to transportation only and may have possible schedule conflicts. Hiring a Home Care / Caregiver Company (option 7) like Adia provides a wider range of services including transportation. In this case, you receive more value since the person is able to provide more than just transportation, such as light housekeeping, meal preparation, medication reminder, and joyful companionship, if and when needed. Thus, hiring a homecare company can provide greater access to a full range of activities that contribute to quality of life.

Before making a decision, create a list of your needs and activities throughout the week. Second, create a schedule and timeline of destinations. Third, research the options in your community and compare each option based on affordability, accessibility, safety / auto insurance, driving history, reliability, payment terms, minimum hours of service and geographic service areas. Also, consider whether you need the transportation provider to be wheelchair or walker-friendly.

People often look to family and friends for transportation assistance. This may be a good temporary option, but it may not always be the most convenient for you or them - every time. There are many options that enable you to remain mobile and “go out and about, safely” on your terms.

Yours truly,

Adia

Dear Adia Hip, Hip, Horray!

Q

Dear Adia,

I am a strong, active older adult who enjoys traveling with my husband since we both retired 10 years ago.  We spend our summers visiting friends and family throughout the United States.  When we’re not on the go, we have a very active lifestyle with our church and charities in the Rolling Hills, and throughout the South Bay.  Last week, I began preparing for a necessary surgery on my hip that I have been putting off for months.  I can no longer ignore the serious repercussions of my declining health and fear of surgery.  I am in pain often and don’t feel as physically capable to perform my normal daily activities.  What can I do to plan ahead for my needs after surgery?  My husband and I have been told we will need to make arrangements for help in the home.  What does this look like?  I am too young to have a caregiver but I know recovery will take time.  How can I get back on my feet after my surgery?  I have always taken care of everyone else.

Many Thanks,

Travel Bug

A

Dear Travel Bug,

Glad to hear that you will not let your pain stop you from living!  Given the stress of the surgery, it sounds like you have postponed it until now.  There is a lot you can do to make sure your surgery and recovery go as smoothly as possible.

1. Know as much as possible about the surgery, benefits and risks.  If your doctor and the attending nurse are not willing to take the time to discuss the procedure with you, find other professionals. 
2. Bring someone with you to the pre-surgical appointments to take notes.  If this is not possible, bring a tape recorder.  You will hear a lot of information in a very short period of time, and it can be hard to digest and remember all the medical terms. 
3. Ask for a post-operative checklist.  For each item, write (1) if you can do it alone, (2) can complete the task with some assistance or (3) cannot complete the task on your own.  Use the 1-2-3 rubric. 
4. Pick up post-operative prescriptions filled and other medical supplies before the surgery so that you do not have to wait in line at the pharmacy.
5. Visualize your recuperation.  Will you be able to move around your house by yourself or will you need to hire help?  Will you be able to drive?  Ensure you factor in the side effects of the medications that may make driving unsafe, and possibly illegal.
6. Hire Professional Post-Operative Caregivers – In an effort to not impose on your friends, neighbors or spouse during a tough, but temporary time, hire professional caregiver whose job duty is to make your life (as well as your family) easier.  A professional caregiver will drive you to appointments, prepare your meals, clean your house, communicate with the doctor or nurse for follow-up care procedures, remind you to take your medications and keep track of your meds, assist with bathing or dressing, run errands for you, as well as ensure your recovery home environment is clean from any cross-infection risks commonly found at the hospital. 
7. Do not let the hospital send you home if you don’t feel ready.  As for help from the Patient Advocate if you feel pressured. 

Lastly, know your rehabilitation and physical therapy plan ahead of time.  Commit to following it.  Slacking off on your rehabilitation plan is a sure way of having a botched recovery!  Therefore, having a professional post-operative caregiver during this time can ensure your recovery does not fail and ensures you are back on your fee, traveling with your spouse, happily ever after…Hip, Hip, HOORAY! 

Yours Truly,

Adia

Dear Adia, An Independent Woman in San Pedro

Q

Dear Adia,

I am a widow 86 years young, living alone in San Pedro.  Although I am active and have a few friends, my family is far and few between. I have two biggest fears.  The first is I don’t drive much anymore.  I hate driving at night, and I’m no longer confident venturing out past my local church and volunteer obligations.  I feel so limited.  My second fear is planning my future to stay in my home.  I am not there yet but know its coming.  I can already say that often I wish there was someone in my home especially at night!  I have no idea where and what to do but I need advice on how to plan this gradual life change.  One thing I know for sure, I want to be prepared and dictate my own future.  Any help or suggestions you could offer would be appreciated. 

Sincerely,

Independent in San Pedro

A

Dear Ms. Independent,

“Confidence comes from being prepared” is the most appropriate quote from John Wooden….because it is true! Change is hard for all people of all ages, from a high school student entering into the “college life”, a woman expecting her first child, to an older adult preparing for her future. Being prepared for change (with a written) plan decreases chaos and feelings of uncertainty and increases productivity and goal- achievement. Preparing a workable plan with various stages, check-lists and decision making models will provide a clear path in a progressive period of your life.

Start off with a Companion Care Friend! – It’s never too early or too late to have a companion friend in our lives. The goal of the companion is sustain your lifestyle – not change it. A companion can provide peace-of-mind by taking you to social or medical appointments, enjoying a game of bridge or bingo as well as ensure you’re not home alone at night. If your fear is driving, ensure your companion can drive and is a safe driver. Determine if you expect the companion to drive your car or their own car. If your fear is staying home alone at night, create a schedule of nights that the companion can sleep over.

The preliminary plan should consist of the following:

• Who - Hire an agency or hire direct.  Look at personality type, language, values, references, background check.

• What - Assess your needs first.  Driving, errands, appointments, shopping, cooking, light housekeeping
• Where - If you want a live-in companion, do you have an extra bedroom?
• How - How many hours per day / per night?
• Budget - How much are you willing and able to spend per week? Paid companion versus a “volunteer” (pros and cons).
• Home Modification - Grab bars, increased lighting, phones with larger buttons, Lifeline necklace.

Without a clear view of the intended outcomes, it is unlikely that your fears will go away. Having a plan will help focus on the priorities, set timelines and make the best decisions along the way.

Yours Truly,

Adia